Category: muses


Dilapidated brown bag in hand, the Publix bagger flatly told me that they can’t all be winners. I literally laughed out loud; at him, the bag, the time (9 p.m.), the array of pathetic purchases I had made that evening (coffee, cotton balls, bread), and all of it.

You can tell a great deal about a person by what they are buying at a grocery store. For instance, the man right after me in line was buying some sort of nasal spray, a single can of Foster’s, and Triscuits (low sodium). The bro who had just finished an extremely intense work out prior to arriving at the grocery store (so intense that he had no time to either shower or put on a shirt with sleeves) was purchasing milk (2%), a frozen pizza, a Yoo-Hoo (which I thought disappeared off the face of the planet in like, 2000-they’re still around in case you were wondering), some scotch tape, and multivitamins. And a bunch of bananas.

I’d like to amend the “being able to tell a great deal about a person” bit by saying that this only applies to people in the “10 items or less” line. Mom of 16 buying groceries for what appears to be a trek across the Oregon Trail, which is actually just a week’s worth of sustenance for her clan, does not reveal anything about her personality by purchasing countless cartons of chicken nuggets. Unless, of course, she throws in the occasional Bella Sera Chardonnay (because it was on sale).

Making my way out of the store, I thought about what I left behind me and the motley crew of late night grocery enthusiasts. My own purchases were by no means anything to speak of, but if you think about it, it was just what I needed at that moment. And maybe a Yoo-Hoo was just what The Hulk needed, at that very moment.

As the paper bag containing all my items ripped in half and splayed its intriguing contents across the parking lot, I thought about what the bag boy had said. Even though he had thought he was thwarting a potentially inconvenient circumstance for me by giving me a non-dilapidated bag, mine had still ripped. Who knows-maybe if the two crappy bags had combined, together they may have made one solid, non-crappy bag. Or maybe they would have just been crappy together. At that moment, gathering my purchases up off the asphalt, I was definitely not a winner. We can’t all be.



Facebook is a blessing, and it sure as anything is a curse. I think it’s actually mostly a curse.  It has become a staple of my age group (and even the generation before mine, as I was oh-so-thrilled to see my mom’s name come across wanting to add me as a friend ). As a medical student, it is really the only way to keep tabs on what the “outsiders” are doing with their lives, as yours is in a stand still. I say facebook is a curse because until you become acutely aware of how much your peers live’s are progressing, you are really not too upset about how mundane yours is. It is until you come across “Album Three of the World’s Most Perfect Wedding” (or its equivalent) that you are totally and completely in the blissful bubble of life as a medical student. Which I think equates to no life at all.

I started thinking about the time warp of medical school last year when I went home for Thanksgiving. My best friend from childhood whom I have known for roughly 20 years, announced to me that her and her boyfriend of a year were getting engaged soon and are even looking at rings. She asked my advice on what rings I liked. I sat there with her for an hour, flipping through catalogs and websites, saying “Oh this one is nice,” and so on. The truth was that I was totally clueless as to what advice to give on picking out an engagement ring. I realized at that moment that even IF (and that is a big if, so it seems) I had that special someone in my life right now I would not be ready for picking out rings. Or flowers. Or places to live. Or compromising on last names (I have always wanted to hyphenate). Or deciding where to spend the holidays. Or any of that “rest of your life” stuff that so many of my peers have already dove head first into. It’s not that I don’t think I could ever be ready for that; I just think that my life as a 20-something has been time-warped away from me and I am so focused on only what is going on in my immediate schooling that my brain just rejects thoughts of engagement rings. Or anything ring-ish.

I’m definitely not criticizing getting married right now. If you are lucky enough to have found the person you want to spend the rest of your days with, by all means, lock that down! I’m just stating that at this point, I can’t imagine myself saying “I do”.

And so the warp continues. By the time I get out of medical school, I will have hit 26, and as women we all know, 30 is right around the corner at that point. By that time all the people that said their vows during my second year will have a soccer team of kids. I hope I at least have a dog.